How to deal with rejection by close people?

Being rejected, especially by someone who is close to us, can cause great emotional pain and it has happened to us in some form at some point in our lives. These feelings are especially intense if we have a small social circle that we rely on which can leave us feeling lonely. Maybe it’s a friend who suddenly doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore, a breakup or maybe a family member who never seems to have time for you anymore. The point is, it hurts really badly.

The first thing we tend to do is to blame ourselves. You’ll have many assumptions why the person suddenly rejected you. You may believe that the person doesn’t love you anymore or that you did something for that to happen.  

If you can, try talking to that person and you may be surprised how often it turns out that the reason for the bad behavior has actually nothing to do with you personally.

If you got rejected, instead of blaming yourself and being insecure about it, try to focus on the other side of the story.

In this phase, try to work on the fine line between feeling that everyone should love you and insecurity – feeling that you’re not worthy of love.

If that person doesn’t want to talk, try looking at the rejection from a different angle and try to understand the other side with compassion. Many people go through bad times in silence which can result in negative interpersonal interactions. That person might suddenly be mean to you or ignore you completely.

This approach may help turn off that self-pity talk in your head and soothe the emotional damage.

But, don’t forget to be kind to yourself too. Insisting too much on fixing the situation immediately can have the opposite effect.

Give yourself some time to heal

Rejection by a close person can feel very painful and lower your self-esteem. Give yourself enough time to process and accept what has happened.  Just like your physical body needs time to rest, your mind and emotional state need time to rebalance, recalibrate and come back stronger.

Do not beg for love

The most counterproductive thing you can do is begging someone to love you or doing everything so that person returns back to your life. You really don’t want the person to come back just out of guilt and pity. As mentioned before you cannot force someone to love you.  Remember that the rejection you faced is only here to make you grow. People grow apart and go different roads. With rejection, you will learn to adjust and compromise and to get to know yourself better.

Let go and start moving on

As you probably don’t want to feel miserable for the rest of your life, after getting some closure set a deadline for letting go of that bad memory, and gradually start moving on. After this, you will be able to think of every part of the situation more objectively. This step is essential because you don’t want to step over the same stone again and again and experience the same pain every time.

Try doing some deep soul searching so that you will be able to find more reasons why this rejection may have happened in the first place. Besides, negative thought patterns are like diseases – the sooner they are diagnosed, the better it is.

Don’t assume the worst and don’t blame yourself immediately.  Try to treat others and yourself with compassionate. This experience might be hard to deals with but as with every experience, you grow and with that, you will be more prepared for more experiences to come.

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